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But when she referred to their father as someone who was dating, the children were quick to insist that she was wrong."Daddy told us he won't date until we're in college," they declared.

"She's just a friend."Tears followed some time later, when the father asked his sons for "permission" to allow Joanne move in with him. C., author of Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way.

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She’ll still hate me.” Dating someone with kids can be really difficult. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or want to be with you. If you do that, when he IS with you, he will love you so much more. remembers the conversation she had with her two sons following one of their regular visits with herex-husband.Both boys were brimming with news about Daddy's new friend, Joanne.Neuman recalls, "This 13-year-old kid once said to me, 'I feel, now that my parents are separated, that Idon't exist.'"While most children don't articulate their feelings so strongly -- in fact, most shrug or say "okay"if asked how they're coping with a parental split -- therapists who work with children of divorce agreethat divorce makes kids question who they are, where they came from, and where their lives are headed.That's not an argument for or against divorce, for or against dating.The relationship of a girlfriend and her guy’s kids can be so complicated, with so many factors to consider. The kids might feel like they are being disloyal to their mother if they are kind to the girlfriend. They might be jealous that the girlfriend is taking their dad’s time. They might have hope that the parents are getting back together and that this is the woman standing in the way of that. They might really like the woman, but are just shy.

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